Buffy the vampire slayer
by cloggs
Summary: Buffy loves spike willow loves giles and xander loves himself plus loads of drama and action including a death and someone unexpected turning up! plz read it will b jokes and i wont write more unless i get sum reviews!xx by the way non of these characters
1. Default Chapter

Name: humm???  
Slayer, the - erm no  
Buffy the vampire slayer- scrub that!  
Buffy summers- perfect!  
  
Previous Job: Dusting vamps- err need I say?  
Saving the world's gigantic ass? Defiantly not  
Waitressing- hum sounds good  
  
Skills: oh crap.  
  
"Well erm it's going well so far!" Buffy stated in an unsure voice.  
  
"That's good buff mister, but I'm pretty sure its no Mensa test, its only a job application what's the deal, no biggy!" Xander patted her back.  
  
"Thanks Xander but I need to focus. This, well, this is normal girl stuff. And well, look, non normal girl here!" Buffy pulled a sweet innocent face pointing to her self.  
  
"And you know, dusting vamps is my thang not application forms it's a big step!" Buffy then pulled the 'its too hard can you do it, I need sympathy face.  
  
"I feel fore you Buffy I really do." Xander turned to Buffy with an ecstatic face, " Hey! Once you got that sorted you could try 'writing a sick note' or 'writing a check' but be careful they are a bit tricky!" Xander pointed a long stern finger at Buffy who wasn't laughing.  
  
"Hey Xander! I'm not that separated, now stop fooling around."  
  
"Sorry buff, just trying to lighten things up around here, it's a dead town"  
  
Hearing his last sentence run through his thoughts Xander added.  
  
"Hey for once I'm sincere and I come out sarcastic when it's usually the other way round!"  
  
"Yay to that Xander! I'm sure we wont be so bored soon don't worry, hey I might even take up accountancy. Or something really really hard!"  
  
"Yeah like whatever Buffy"  
  
Xander and Buffy stood and chucked their half eaten food away.  
  
"Come on lets go to the magic shop maybe there's some radically fun time consuming event that' were missing out on"  
  
Buffy eyed Xander with caution.  
  
"Huuumm don't get a head of yourself Xander"  
  
"Inst the suspense killing you! Lets go"  
  
Buffy giggled and then thought to herself. Wow she hadn't done that in ages. She should do that more. NOTE TO SELF- find time to laugh whenever poss.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The undead world seemed to be, well, dead, at the moment and the whole gang were relaxing a bit more.  
  
Willow and Buffy were taking a walk through the cemetery, which was considerably calm. There was also quite a nice atmosphere considering it was pitch black, misty and they were alone. But it was all in a days work.  
  
As they walked along chatting Buffy sensed something or someone. Her reflexes pushed her right arm out to stop willow in her tracks.  
  
"Oh, its you"  
  
"Why thank you, nice to see you too pet" smiled spike.  
  
"If you don't mind, can you go jerk off some where else Cos we are kind of in the middle of something here" Buffy managed to say it all in one breath and was dam proud, all three picked up on this.  
  
"Well for your information, missy, it ain't your land and I can go 'jerk off' I mean 'lurk' wherever I want to! And please like I wanna listen to you to chicks gossiping about the newest hairstyles and what high heels your going to buy next. Not enough time in my life! Ta ta my loves"  
  
"But well! Screw you!" Buffy couldn't manage to come up with something clever as Spike simply stuck one of his long slender fingers up in her direction as he walked in the opposite.  
  
"Dam! He got the last sentence, now what am I going to do?"  
  
"Buff its no biggy, you'll get him soon enough when he least expects it, metaphors and all!" "Yeah? You think?" willow nodded, " thanks. He is always around isn't he, you think he wants to join us"  
  
"Well he is kind of, well, good for the team Buffy. Oh my god did I just, did I-."  
  
"Just say he was good?"  
  
"And for the team?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Save me now Buffy"  
  
"Don't worry its true he is, but well, never mind"  
  
"What Buffy? Oh! You still have a thing for each other don't you"  
  
"Its not like that we did have I'm just not sure anymore"  
  
"Oooh Oooh! Questions! Do you still like him? Did you love each other?"  
  
"Well. maybe and maybe"  
  
"Hummm tricky"  
  
"There's something about him"  
  
"That drives you crazy"  
  
"Yeah and scares me slightly"  
  
"Because you don't know if you could live without them, no exactly what you mean buff"  
  
"Thanks will, but you better be going it's getting really late and you got to get up early"  
  
Sensing a figure behind her she hurried willow along. As soon as willow was out of sight the shadow made its self-clear.  
  
Smooth palms caressed her back and neck. Buffy ruffled the hair of the shadowed. She could feel his heated breathing on her. Their lips brushed gently, then feeling the temptation to kiss they roughly pushed their sensuous lips against each other's. The deep kiss lasted long until each one had to gasp for breath. Spike spoke softly in her ear, " Do I really drive you crazy pet?"  
  
Buffy smiled, "don't talk, kiss me!" 


	2. Spike and buff get in trouble

Buffy lay awake but still dreaming. She was normal and has a life.  
  
'I wonder what's happening in the world' Buffy thought. She somehow felt cut off from the world as if she were the black sheep among the white, the weed among the roses. She thought about the night before. Spike used to repulse her, but somehow change like Angel but in a different way. Pike had become sexy! She couldn't wait to see him next. Feel his hot smooth body against hers; hear his deep voice melting her heart like butter.  
  
Wait.  
  
Was this the same spike?  
  
"What is wrong with me?"  
  
"I don't know maybe brain damage" Dawn had entered her room.  
  
"Or maybe just server head injuries like what I'm going to give you if you don't get out!"  
  
"You think I wanna be in here, please! Just came to enlighten you on your job circumstances"  
  
"Oh like you would know" Buffy taunted.  
  
"Oh get a clue Buffy, you missed you 11.00 interview!"  
  
"Oh shit! Fucking.. Bollocks!"  
  
"I'll, leave demented Buffy and deluded Buffy alone, bye!"  
  
Buffy laid back. Not a good start to the day.  
  
After breaking her mirror, ripping her trousers and having a cold shower Buffy trampled down the stairs.  
  
"Hey! There's my beautif. err seriously deranged, psychopathic friend" Xander looked at Buffy with fear in his eyes.  
  
"Not dealing at the mo sorry, I'll get back to you when I wake from this torment"  
  
"K down with that buff stuff"  
  
Buffy poured a glass of orange juice. BRING BRING! SMASH. Buff's glass was on the floor.  
  
"Wait, breath I'll deal, you get the phone"  
  
Xander began clearing.  
  
"Hello?" Buffy sounded irritated.  
  
"Is this Dawns guardian?"  
  
"Speaking"  
  
"We would like to know where dawn?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Its Monday morning Dawn is supposed to be in school, this has happened before"  
  
"Sorry, Dawn has err, a stomach ache. Oh no she's being sick again got to go bye!"  
  
Buffy cut off the phone nearly breaking it in half.  
  
"DAWN! You have some explaining to do! Get down here now!"  
  
"Err Buffy Sorry but Dawn kind of skidaddled"  
  
Xander looked at her sympathetically.  
  
"Go out Buffy unwind!"  
  
Buffy couldn't she had to slay again! If it wasn't enough she had missed more interviews, lost her favorite lipstick and broke her favorite boots dusting vamp.  
  
"That's it! I'm off" Buffy walked in the direction of a tall cemetery.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Long time no see"  
  
"I couldn't keep away" Buffy squeezed his extremely cute tight butt.  
  
"Humm, you never left me in my heart"  
  
Spike began kissing her neck while taking off her jacket.  
  
"Your tense babes, what's wrong?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe the day I have had"  
  
"Well, let me make it better for you"  
  
Spike led her to the wall picking her up and viscously pushing her against it. Buffy sensed and felt the power he possessed. Buffy let out a yearn of pleasure as she felt Spike pulse through her.  
  
Knock Knock.  
  
"Go away! I'm a bit busy here!"  
  
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK  
  
"Oh for Bloody heck's sake! Wait a minute pet, I need to do some serious ass kicking"  
  
Spike started towards the door but it was blown away and there stood a Huge bodybuilder type man.  
  
Buffy ran to spike, he had a small cut on his head.  
  
"The vampire slayer you are?" spoke the man  
  
"That me who's asking?"  
  
" I've been sent by Lucifer"  
  
"To kill me oh save it!"  
  
"Buffy he's been sent by the devil I think we should take him a little more serious!  
  
Buffy and spike stood against the wall as the Demon came towards them.  
  
To be continued!!!!! 


End file.
